I'm elderly now and married to the same woman for 25 years, so I speak from the cheap seats. What you say makes perfect sense for an adult, but I'm here to suggest that teenagers get marked by what they observe in their first explorations of sex.

What I observed was guys who treated girls like dirt having to beat them back with a pool cue, while those of us willing to admit we were not King Hell studs didn't have a lot of luck. It did not seem fair, but some of the stuff I observed the real King Hell studs doing I could not do even if it would get me laid every night.

To wit, the high school senior making fun of a girl's underwear in a group and being very clear how he knew one of the catches on her bra was bent. Or the college sophomore who was describing the new tattoo his girlfriend got on her backside. Small group in the corner at a party--only guys. Then he sees her in the next room and hollers at her to come without saying why and when she does he pulls her jeans and panties down and gives everyone a look at the new tat....she was blushing redder than the ink.

I left the room. Not only could I not do it, I could not watch him do it. However, she did not quit him for another year.

As I got older, being what I saw as mean to women lost its payoff. But why was there ever a payoff?