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Overheard in the Oval Office

Steve Russell
3 min readJul 8, 2019

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Founder of the Colonial Air Force by way of Wikimedia Commons

Being an Instruction on Serving the Biggest Fan of George Washington’s Air Force.

Mr. President! Mr. President!

What do you want, Dooley? How many times have I told you not to interrupt Fox & Friends?

Mr. President! Our women won the World Cup! Send the interns to Mickey D’s and Wendy’s! Call Domino’s! It’s partee time!

Whaddya mean OUR women? Buncha queer Democrats….but I repeat myself.

But sir, they’re the best women futbol players in the whole world. Did you see who they had to beat?

Dooley, I haven’t got the traces of all those queers Obama appointed out of here yet. I mean, compare that Kenyan’s appointments to mine.

(Under his breath) crooked Republicans…but I repeat myself…

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Nothing important, sir. The staff was looking forward to the leftover burgers, that’s all. Since you’re the first POTUS since FDR who has no dog.

What’s that you say? Nobody since FDR? I told you my White House would be exceptional. Carry on, Dooley, but stay out of here until Fox & Friends is over.

One more thing, sir, and this is important after you got into it with Macron. A full stadium in Paris broke out in chants of “Equal pay! Equal pay!”…

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Steve Russell
Steve Russell

Written by Steve Russell

Enrolled Cherokee, 9th grade dropout, retired judge, associate professor emeritus, and (so far) cancer survivor. Memoir: Lighting the Fire (Miniver Press 2020)

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